I live in Edmond, OK where I am employed by the University of Central Oklahoma.  A survivor’s recovery can be dark, and hope for healing is often elusive. As a survivor, I give voice to the darkness as well as the dawn.
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Surviving the Darkness
Swirling through my wounded soul,
Whirlwind thoughts and jagged pain
Dim the light of hope to gain
Restoration of the whole.

Promises of calmer days
Are muted by the darkened skies
Overwhelmed by evil’s eyes
No light can penetrate the haze.

My hope is soon reduced to ashes
Consumed by deadly, heartless power
Crushing every heart and flower
That dares to face the fiery flashes.

At my feet lay scarred remains
Of a life that has been shattered
Remnants of what once had mattered
Are nothing more than bloody stains.

Cavernous blackness fills the night
Saturating my wounded soul.
I crave escape from this shroud of coal.
That suffocates my will to fight.

My hope of healing is all but gone,
And I fall beneath the weight of black.
My harsh tears trace a gruesome crack.
I am broken; despair has won.

Dejected, I face the pitch black sky
And sorrow floods my very core.
I mourn what if? What was? What more?
Then hinting at change, a star streaks by.

One line of crimson paints the sky
Followed by glistening golden rays.
The sun is rising, and darkness sways
Until all dark tendrils finally die.

My hope and strength are very weak
But now I see with different eyes.
The crushing curses were just lies.
“Survivor,” I heard the morning speak.

poem by catherine white walls, all rights reserved
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